Still Kickin'

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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm retrieving it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am a trial attorney and the duck is my property, if you don't let me get the duck, you will be sued." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Iowa. We settle small disagreements with the "Three Kick Rule"."

The young lawyer asked, "What is the "Three Kick Rule"?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all four when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he smiled and said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. you can have the duck."

Kayak (farmer) Bandit