Many Happy Returns by KuKu

My dad was well known for his sense of humor and his pranks — and sometimes worse.

This story, however, is one of the blander jokes.

He used to tell this story a lot and, I must admit, it is better in person when you can hear the inflection in the voices. But I’ll try to type it appropriately.

When I was growing up and attending Sunday School, I was given birthday pennies once a year. Whenever a child’s birthday came on or near a Sunday, they got up in front of God and everybody and put one penny for each year (while we counted) into a special bank. Then we sang them “Happy Birthday”.

Different churches have different traditions and when my father was growing up, his Sunday School did the birthday penny offering. Then, the teacher and all the students would recite (think a little sing-song and monotonous tone all at the same time):

“Many happy returns on the day of thy birth.
May sunshine and gladness be given.
And may the dear Savior prepare you on Earth
For a glorious future in Heaven.
We thank you for the offering.”

It’s a nice, schmaltzy little poem but that ending sentence always cracked me up.

One year, when both my dad and his brother, Art, were adults, they were many miles apart and it was Art’s birthday.

My dad called Western Union and dictated a telegram to be sent to Art:

“Go ahead, sir.”
“Many happy returns on the day of thy birth.”
“Yes. ”
“May sunshine and gladness be given.”
“. . . OK.”
“And may the dear Savior prepare you on Earth”
“. . . . . .All right.”
“For a glorious future in Heaven.”
“. . . . . ookaaay. . .”
“We thank you for the offering.”
“EXCUSE ME, SIR?!?”
“We thank you for the offering.”
“We thank you for the offering?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Sir, let me read back the whole text.”

She may have thought Dad was crazy but Art didn’t. He laughed his head off when he got it.

Maybe in another blog, I’ll talk about missives between my sister and me or what my best friend, Angela (Yiker) has sent me. . .

KuKu