Saggin Ain't So Bad

Weightlessness in space. We hear a lot about all the experiments in space. They take some peas up and see how they sprout. They take a monkey and chronicle his trip. You get what I am talking about.

Well, my big question is how would an old person look in space. You see, gravity is pretty mean to us old people. When a person gets old everything starts to sag. My mom and dad have their muscles under the bones in their arms. Why when my dad was young, he wrestled big logs up onto trucks without any help from a tractor. Where were his muscles then? Of Course, they were on top of his bones where they belong.

We may never know the answer to this important question because the people in charge of all the space programs want young people. They don't want one of us old codgers having a health issue and needing an ambulance. They haven't even built a space ambulance yet. I bet they don't plan to either. I think that is discrimination.

Okay, here is what I really think. I think we old people probably look better with gravity than without gravity. Imagine you had just been sitting on a chair, but a little off centered. I bet one buttock would be smooched in and the other buttock would be just fine. Or, back to the arm muscle deal. One arm might have the muscle atop the arm and the other below the arm. Wouldn't that be strange looking.

I have to be careful on this next thought because this is a family post. You know the parts of a lady that gets a lot of attention from us men? Whoa Nellie, what if they were not correctly adjusted. Man would that look crazy. Again, only us oldies have to worry about that. It just isn't fair.

I have taken this topic as far as I dare. I have other questions about weightlessness. I just can't talk about them in public.

Kayak Bandit '(*!*)'