I Can Pee Better Than You!

Since, as long as there have been towns and cities, there has been competition between city slickers and country bumpkins. I happen to fall in the latter category. And, truth be known, I am a bumpkin.
There have been numerous times that I did not measure up to city standards. How was I supposed to know that you have to cross a street near the intersection, for instance. By the way, why do they call that infraction "J Waking?" Could it be the way us farmers perceive a jay? After all, city dwellers, jays do strut around in a random fashion. And which farmer gave the city folks permission to use our verbiage? Did you notice I used the word verbiage? Pretty impressive word for a bumpkin, wouldn't you say? I hope I spelled it correctly.
Well, my cousins lived in town. They would come to the farm for visits. They were exposed to things in their town of Silver Bay, that we were not. I remember how interesting their lives were. But, they liked coming to the farm for equal and opposite reasons.
My memory of cousin Chuck always intrigued me. You see, I remember challenging him to compete with me to see who could pee and make the stream of pee hit the fence wire. I do not know how I learned not to pee on a fence. I do not think I ever did. Also note that the fence we were attempting to pee upon was an electric fence.
The way I remember it, is that my aim was not as good as Chuck's aim. He won the competition. His reward for winning was a jolt of electricity through a sensitive part of the body. Congratulate him if ever your paths cross.
Admittedly, the question crossed my mind whether this could lead to serious reproductive harm. In time the question was answered with the birth of his wonderful girls. Speaking of these girls, I traveled back to Minnesota about fifteen years ago to visit Chuck and his family. We had a wonderful visit.
Chuck stayed true to his Christian upbringing. He raised his daughters to be Christian too. Because I was aware of his faith, I was taken aback when he said to me as we were preparing to leave, "Take care you old turd." His daughters were shocked to hear their dad say "turd", which was obvious to me from there harmonious "Dad???"
Chuck replied to his daughters by adding "Well he is a turd. Do you realize that your uncle Steve tricked me into peeing onto an electric fence?" I was so embarrassed that he would discuss this in front of his family. I was always too embarrassed to discuss this with him, even when no one else was around.
I collected myself enough to ask (since he had breached the subject) if his memory was the same as mine. I said that I remembered tricking him twice. My very honorable cousin, Chuck, admitted that it was twice.
Chuck, I am glad that you were not injured by my prank. I hope you can forgive me.
Kayak Bandit '(*!*)'